Monday, April 20

 4/20/2015         No comments
Crazy, Stupid, Love 

1. Even though your roommate has already told her the same fart joke approximately five times by this point, she will laugh when he whips it out again because she doesn’t want to hurt his feelings and because she wants your friends to like her.

2. She didn’t say anything to you that time she inadvertently found a Tupperware container of tuna salad, ginger ale, and Sriracha underneath your bed — a concoction that you had forgotten about and let stew for the past five days.

3. Before she met your parents for the first time, she was incredibly nervous because she wanted to make sure that everything she said and did would earn her their official stamp of approval.

4. She really cared about making a good impression on your mother.

5. She made a huge effort to befriend your siblings — even though your little sister spent most of dinner sulking because her best friend’s second best friend was taking her 7th grade crush to their middle school dance that week.

6. When you see one another again after having spent an extended period of time apart, she will try to hide the delirious smile that spreads across her face before she can help it. But she will fail.

7. The scrambled eggs you made her for breakfast in bed last week might have given her food poisoning later that day, but she still tells you that they were delicious because you were so excited about cooking for her.

8. Though you didn’t say anything to her about it, she stopped talking to that dude in her French class who kept hitting on her because she knew that it made you insecure.

9. She once spent five whole hours watching you play Skyrim when it first came out, and although she fell asleep during the middle of the game, there is no greater sign of dedication than that.

10. She kisses you even when you have Buffalo wing breath and even though she knows you’ve worn the same pair of pants for the last week straight because you’re too lazy to do your laundry.

11. She tries to engage actively in the interests that excite you — for example, listening to you rant about baseball for hours on end even though the only relevance the sport holds for her is Derek Jeter’s piercing green eyes.

12. When she found a cockroach crawling along the headboard of your bed, she momentarily freaked out and made you kill it with your shoe, but she hasn’t stopped sleeping over — despite the high likelihood that that one cockroach was just a single foot soldier, leading the way for a greater roach invasion.

13. Once, you told her that you thought the color blue looked good on her. All of a sudden, the amount of blue clothing she owns grew exponentially.

14. On occasion, she will allow you to be little spoon.

15. She let you participate in No-Shave November without complaining because beard or no beard, you’re still the handsomest man in her life. 

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